jeudi, septembre 14, 2006

Moments difficiles mais inévitables

Une semaine au pays du père noël et des nuits éternelles. Une semaine de vacances avec mes proches. Moments qui valent de l'or. Bonheurs simples. Essayer de profiter sans penser à la séparation qui sera inévitable. Et puis elle arrive... un lundi à 16h15 par un bus qui fait la liaison jusqu'à l'aéroport. 20 minutes de marche ont précédé ce moment, 20 minutes où toute discussion s'est avérée inutile. On sait qu'aucun mot ne pourra combler la tristesse à venir.

Ce beau temps et ces rues devant lesquels on s'extasiait il y a encore 24heures, on voudrait les fuir et garder ceux qu'on aime un peu plus avec nous.
16h20. Le chauffeur ferme les soutes du bus. Ces cons ont mis une décos sur les vitres, je ne peux même pas voir leur tête. J’entrevois des petits signes de mains. Premières larmes séchées, mes petites mains à moi aussi se mettent alors à remuer comme pour essayer de palier au sourire qui n'y est pas.
16h23. les finlandais sont ponctuels. Me voilà seule. Les larmes peuvent reprendre leur itinéraire classique: bout de nez, fossette droite, coin du menton... ça passe.
Les larmes sont remplacées par un sentiment de tristesse et un vide affectif. Les voyages précédents n'avaient pas déclaré de symptômes similaires... c'est grave doc'??
Je me demande alors où est la travelleuse dans de tels moments?... sans doute son esprit est il encore pour quelques heures en France devant un coucher de soleil fourasin... la travelleuse y est seule pourtant, oui mais elle sait alors qu'en remontant de sa plage, une soirée entre amis en famille ou même en solo volontaire l'attend.
la solitude doit être voulue pour devenir vertu. Quand on prend la décision de partir, on sait qu'elle nous attend, qu'elle nous guette dès notre arrivée... une fois apprivoisée on en fait des miracles (des miracles épistolaires pour certains, méditatifs pour beaucoup...)
Espérons donc qu'ici les couchers de soleil et les promenades de la travelleuse solitaire auront les mêmes vertus...

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et oui rien de tel k'un carrelet bien de ché nous pour avoir la nostalgie du pays!!!

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